January 2, 2021
This the big question so many couples are wrestling with right now. In order to answer it, I find it helpful to ask a few other questions in order to identify what are your values in your wedding.
What is the current state of safety?
Safety is always first. If numbers are rising or new strains of the virus are active, we need to ask if it is safe to have your wedding. This is where some complicated math comes in because the safety of each wedding is unique based on factors such as;
- What are the current state laws? Is your state likely to shut things down if cases continue to spike?
- How many of your guests are in at risk populations?
- How many of your guests are vaccinated?
- How many guests are traveling to your wedding? Are they able to quarantine before their travel?
- Is your venue indoors or outdoors? How much can your guests socially distance?
What will you need to change?
Based on the answers above you will start to assess how much of your wedding you will need to adjust or change to comply with safety. This is a discussion to have with your venue as they are going to be heavily involved with answering the following;
- Will you have to cut your guest list to satisfy state and local laws?
- Will you have to cut your reception and only have a ceremony?
- Will your venue still serve you? (Sometimes a venue could lose money if you drop below a certain number of guests so they would be forced to close rather than downsize)
And finally, the big question:
Will you be happy with these changes?
This comes down to what you prioritize more (and there is no judgement here).
- Do you want get married ASAP and you don’t care how or what it looks like?
- Is it more important to have certain people at your wedding that downsizing would force you to remove or who would be unable to safely travel?
- How much money do you have invested in the wedding already? Does it make sense to you to go smaller? Will you hit your minimums, even if you upgrade the experience for less guests?
- What do your contracts allow?
- Would you be ok with splitting events (a legal ceremony or mini-mony today and a big party or vow renewal later)
- Does waiting push back other life events you want to happen now (house buying, starting a family etc)?
When you get to the end of this list of questions, you should have at least some answers as to what you value, what you want, and what is possible. Hopefully all can be accomplished. My only personal advice is pick what matters most and stick with that. Months and even a year feel like a long time but one day it won’t feel so long. The memory of your wedding day will be there forever so as long as your happy with what you decide to do- it’s the right choice.